Surrounded by water and not a drop to drink

So I had a lot of interviews last week, and this week not as much. I have been trucking along with Kindercare and I think I may get that job. I have submitted for a background check and my fingerprints, and I the center director said that I should be able to start next week, so I hope that happens. And on Tuesday, I have an interview at Wells Fargo, for a teller job, and I hope I can do that too. If I can do one in the morning and one in the afternoon, I think that would be awesome. 

SO I will keep posting, but if you want to know what I am doing about my weight, check out jessandtashagetskinny.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Interviews galore!

So this week is the week of selling myself. I have had an interview every day so far, Monday till Thursday. Monday was at Kindercare-this is the job I really want. Its full time, teaching, in a great environment and I love the center. Downside, its a hour away each way. Tuesday(today) was at United Day Care- I don't really know about this job, it is a part time position from 3:30-5:30 m-f, but it takes me almost an hour to get there, so is it worth it? In the interview, she mentioned that it could become a subbing position. eh. Wednesday (tomorrow) I have an interview at Children's Workshop- funny thing about this one is I submitted my resume at 11 am, got a call for the interview at 1:30 pm, missed it, but called her back at 4 and has the interview tomorrow. I am excited. Its full time, and in FOCO which is not as far as northglenn, but I really don't know much yet. we will see how tomorrow goes. Then Thursday, I have my second interview at Kindercare-which will involve more questions and hopefully a job offer. I have some materials I need to bring to it, like a transcript and physical, which if I can find time I will get done tomorrow. I just really hope this brings me to an offer, but we will see. 

So I am working hard, getting myself out there. I will keep you all updated. 

Wake-up call

I have just received the wake-up call of a lifetime. Now before I get into this I must say that I know that I am overweight. I also know that I have gained a significant amount of weight in the last 3 years. I am not saying that I didn't see this coming, I am saying that I didn't realize how bad it has gotten until just now. 

When I started college, I weighed roughly 190lbs. I was criticized for being fat but honestly I felt healthy. I knew I wasn't in the best shape of my life, but I was happy with myself. Since then, I have gained a lot of weight. (for privacy purposes I won't say exactly how much) I know my clothes are tighter and I could feel things getting bigger, but I didn't really notice because in my head, and when i look in the mirror, I see me, at 190lbs. What's funny is there is actually a term for this, but it is generally used in terms of people who suffer from Anorexia Nervosa. Its called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Again, don't think I am a hypochondriac that likes to diagnose myself, but I really see a different body when I look in the mirror. It is not until photos that I realize that I do not look like what I think I look like. Because of this, I don't think I have realized exactly how much weight I have gained. Here is photo comparison. 

What I think I look like (High School Grad 5/2005)

What I do look like (College Grad 5/2009)

I am shocked. Why did no one tell me? I really had no idea until I just looked at this picture. I have thought about applying for the biggest loser before, but truly after seeing this, I will absolutely be applying. I can't 

believe I let it go this far. I am in shock.

I am on my way

So I did it. I graduated. Now, unfortunately, I just have to finish school before I can get my diploma. Sounds funny right? Well I had a class transferring fiasco, so I have to take the class I already took elsewhere, and retake it a unc. Unfortunately that means I won't get my diploma till august, but I walked on saturday. oh well. I still feel very accomplished. So many of you, like 2 people, who read this, may be asking yourselves "What's next for Jess" Well, I think that I shall enlighten you. 

So while I (almost) have a bachelors degree, it is kind of in nothing... its in "Interdisciplinary Liberal Arts with an Earth Science Emphasis and a minor in Reading". WOW what a mouthful! Anyway, this really qualifies me for nothing. I can, however, and will choose to use it to become a teacher. It gets me 90% of the way to that, so thats good. Unfortunately, in order to become a teacher, you have to have a license. This I have not. I could have continued at UNC for another 2 years and possibly gotten it, but to be frank, (who is this Frank character everyone references when they decide to be straightforward about something? can't we just say " this is what I am saying because I am a straightforward person, and not have to blame it on Frank?..... back on topic) where was I... oh! I didn't have the patience or drive to really keep working for another 2 years. SO I decided to peace out after 4, earning a baloney of a degree, in order to pursue my real passion in life! Unemployment! 

just joking...

not about the unemployed part... but about that being my dream. I am not Claire for goodness sake. 

So I am looking at a few options. They will be called option 1 and option b. 

Option 1. I could (and will) apply for my Alternative License Statement of Eligibility in August, when I get that piece of paper declaring me smart. This will allow me to look for a real teaching job under the pretenses that I will earn my license in the first year that I am teaching. 

PROS: I get to teach. I get paid. 

CONS: I am less qualified. I don't feel qualified. 

So this option allows me to jump in head first without training, and kinda "learn as I go". This is a great option, financially. But as far as my readyness to do it go, its a nogo. I have taken teaching courses, but I have never been in a live classroom. ergo, I will walk in the first day and probably be the first kid to pee their pants. 

Option b. I could (and will) apply for the Post-Baccalaureate program at UNC to obtain a license. This would entail going back to school full time for one whole year, 3 semesters, and emerging with experience teaching and a license. I would get the experience in the classroom to make me feel comfortable, and I would have a license. 

PROS: Pretty much what I just said. Confidence and License. Could defer student loans :) Masters degree :)

CONS: opposed to getting paid, I have to pay. 

So this option will allow me to feel prepared and really learn how to be an effective teacher, while getting me half way to a Masters of Education in Elementary education, which in the long run earns me about 10,000 more a year. 

So this is what I am trying to decide. at this point, I am gonna try for both, see which one bites first. I have pretty well ruled out fall hire, unless someone dies unexpectedly, so maybe a spring hire (again due to sudden death, or pregnancy) would be a good plan. 

Its kinda nice to lay it all out there, so I can really assess my options. 

OH as for the year of unemployment ahead of me. Well goodness I have applications out everywhere. I am looking at preschool teaching, working as a school assistant or school secretary, a bank teller, an administrative assistant, prostitute, everything and anything I can think of. If you know of anyone hiring in the greater denver/noco area, let me know. 

Until next time, I leave you to ponder my future. As for right now, its really uncertain. But isn't life always?

14 days

That is all I have left. wow. 

I can't believe that I made it. I have hit a few snafus on the way, but all in all this semester has been a successful one. I am rounding the last week of school before finals and as usual, I am slammed with projects and papers and all different stuff to work on in the last week. For some reason professors feel the need to put 80% of the semester's coursework in the last 2 weeks of school. I don't understand it and it really isn't very nice. Oh well. I am also working on getting a job. I have two big applications out, basically for the same jobs, but two different places. The first is for a library assistant/classroom assistant at Plateville elementary for the summer and the other is for a library assistant/school secretary at Northridge high school for the school year. I really hope one or both of them work out. On the bright side, I have a guaranteed job. I will be tutoring the girl I tutored this semester, this summer, as well as her brother. That is $15 an hour, 4 hours a week or so. That won't be enough to support us, but it will be great to keep working with her. 

I must say that if you ever need a boost, have someone write a letter of recommendation for you. I have had 3 written for me in the last week and it is really touching to see what people think about me. They are all glowing so I hope they help me get the job. 

For now this is about all that is happening. 

I will update again soon. 

Spring Break

So we have made it just over  half way. There are 6 weeks left in the semester and thus far I am doing pretty well. Classes are slightly overwhelming but its keeping me busy. This semester I have really realized what I want to do with my life. I have two classes in which I am working with students in a teaching aspect and I LOVE it. I am tutoring a 6 year old girl in reading and she is fascinating. Observing her learning is so interesting to me. She is really succeeding and her success is lighting a fire inside me. My other class is being a teaching assistant for an Earth Science class. I am working with freshmen at UNC and I love teaching them. The professor I am working under and I have a great relationship and she really lets me work with the students and they regard me like a second teacher. When I was in their position, our class didn't trust the girl in my position. She just stood in the corner. But I am really working with students and I had the opportunity to one on one tutor 3 girls for an upcoming test. All three of them aced the test and I was so proud. They each thanked me for helping them and credit me with their success. This really made me feel fulfilled and I know that I want to help people for the rest of my life. There is not a better high than knowing that something you did really helped someone. 

Other than that, I have a small beef with americans. I wish I could just shout from the rooftops that people are really kinda naive. Anyone who has taken Economics 101 knows what I am saying. WE as americans are causing the recession that we are currently in. It is driving me CRAZY that rich people are continually under scrutiny for spending their money in a time of economic crisis. PEOPLE PLEASE SPEND YOUR MONEY!!! we NEED rick people to spend money!!! Every dollar they spend is a dollar in someone else's pocket and then they will spend that money, putting it in another person's pocket and so on and so forth. Right now everyone is too afraid to spend their money because they don't have very much of it, but they really don't understand that they are the reason they don't have money. It's called the paradox of savings. If Lindsey Lohan doesn't buy her starbucks because she is cutting back due to public scrutiny, the barista will be laid off. She, therefore, won't go to the Olive Garden with her girlfriends on ladies night. The server that they would have had would then make less money so he can't pay his rent to the landlords who in turn can't fix the plumbing problem so the plumber is laid off and can't spend money for food ...etc. SO Please let Lindsey Lohan buy her starbucks. The point is that a dollar saved is a dollar wasted. Money was meant to be spent, thats how our economy works. I would bet that if the media started saying that the recession was looking up and that our economy was now booming, people would spend their money and the economy would come back. The problem is that we all have this mentality that we shouldn't spend our money so we really the cause of the recession. I am done rambling, but please for the love of everything cheese like, SPEND YOUR MONEY!

So onto spring break. I am going to Portland and I am SOOO excited. I leave Monday and will be back Saturday night. Be prepared for pictures. 

I'm done procrastinating, for real this time.

As many of you know I am a procrastinator. I believe that I was born a procrastinator. I was 3 days late. Many people in college say that they procrastinate just as an excuse to be lazy, but I fully believe that my problems with motivation have nothing to do with laziness. I can't remember a point in my life where I had enough motivation to do anything when it was supposed to be done. The earliest grade I remember is about 6th grade. I had the hardest time completing my assignments on time, for no real reason. This problem has followed me my entire life and has become so serious that I am terrified to finish anything. I panic when I get to the end of a project or something, to the point where I need to finish it. I know this is a bad example, but it took me 2 years to finish a video game that I could have finished in a month. I got through the whole game to the very end, before the big final task, then I stopped playing. It finally took Andy forcing me to finish it that I finally did. And I cried. And felt a weird sense of loss, not accomplishment. I don't know why I have this weird reaction to the end of things, but with this enormous juggernaut of reality hurtling toward me at the speed of light, I am terrified. Everyone keeps telling me that I should be excited to be done. but in all honesty I am so overwhelmed with panic that I can't even concentrate on the accomplishment at hand. 

I was thinking about my issue with procrastination recently and I fully credit it with my mediocre performance throughout my life. I start the semester off on a good foot. I work hard and it seems like it might break my habit, until about half way through. Thats when the end is in sight and panic mode comes in. I know people don't think that I am serious in that this is a real problem but I am completely serious. I wonder if I should talk to someone about it. I think that it goes deeper than just not having the motivation to do anything. 

Anyway, I am terrified to graduate and I almost think that I subconsciously sabotage everything I do in order to prolong the inevitable. If anyone thinks I should seek help, or knows how to help, please let me know.